as if he never left
by bloom00011
Summary: set after edward left bella my version on what should have happened


8

Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any character they are the legal property of Stephanie Meyer.

This is a joint project between a friend and myself.

Read and Review it will be appreciated. Thank you.

_It will be as if I never existed. _

His parting words as he left me in the forest, that was two days ago, now I am a wreck my heart feels like it had been torn from my body and shredded into a thousand pieces, and to top it all of by the one who I though loved me. I was lying In my room staring at the window that he used to come through I left it open always now. I was waiting for him, to come in with my favourite crooked smile. Hearing Charlie get up I quickly got out of bed ready for breakfast. I made Charlie bacon and eggs whilst I simply had cereal, Charlie was sitting in the chair, that chair was opposite to his chair, Edwards chair. My mind burned when I thought of his name. Getting up to wash the dishes as I always did I felt the tears coming, they always betrayed me! I fought against them I couldn't cry here in front of Charlie later when I am alone I can cry, ''what's wrong Bella?'' Charlie had asked worry evident in his voice. ' Is this by any chance that boy _Edward_'s fault I if is I'll have him, I'll…" " Dad it's okay it's not…it's not _Edward _" I gasped and then without warning the tears came spilling out over my eyes, my breathing coming in deep rasping heaves, sinking to the floor I clutched at my chest as a hole began expanding swallowing me in blackness and despair he was gone and he wasn't coming back.

Charlie was panicking he'd never seen me loose control like this, I fought against my emotions trying In vain to reign them in, to control them. Standing up I slowly made my way up the stairs to my room, I opened the door and went to lie on my bed.

The tears ravaged me all through the dark despairing night and into the dawn.

The next morning was almost the same, I would get up when I heard Charlie and make breakfast, go to school, go to work, come home, do my homework, dinner, bed. Even the tears had become less frequent and I had pretty good control, as I would only cry once I was sure Charlie was asleep then I would cry and cry until I couldn't possibly cry anymore.

Every day at school my eyes despite me knowing he wasn't there would search for him and his family of vampires, I missed all of them, even Rosalie who I didn't get on with very well.

My friends all stood by me except for Jessica and Lauren I never really got the vibe that they were my friends anyway.

" Hey Bella wanna go see a movie or something this weekend?" it was Mike Newton he had been especially happy that _he _had left as Mike was always competing with _him…_ I couldn't bring myself to think his name that would bring out the tears. " No sorry Mike I am really busy at the moment lots of work to do really sorry!" he looked really put out and sulky but I couldn't bring myself to change my mind I wasn't ready for someone else just yet.

Turning away from Mike I talked to my loyal friend Angela about an English assignment that was due very soon. Coming home I made dinner as always just as Charlie came home.

" Hey Bells how's dinner coming?"

"Fine dad we're having roast tonight okay? It won't be long!" I called busying myself with the potatoes and vegetables. Ten minutes later we were seated at the table (_Edwards_ chair was always left vacant) we ate in silence this was nothing new though my dad was a man of few words I was much the same as him.

I went up to my room and lay down on my bed facing my window, which was always open.

Except for tonight.

Tonight the window was closed, I felt the traitorous tears spilling from my eyes why would Charlie close my window when I begged him not to I kept it open waiting for _him _to come through how dare he shut that out!

"CHARLIE! DID YOU SHUT MY WINDOW? " I screamed my anger and hurt was tumbling down as I yelled at my father for that one simple act.

" No Bella why would I shut your window I know how you explicitly told me not to"

" DON'T LIE TO ME WHY DID YOU SHUT IT!" I yelled and screamed I had totally lost control now everything that I had bottled up was now free and taking revenge upon my father. " Bella I swear to you that I did not shut your window!" Charlie said getting angry now himself.

Running to my room I looked at my window it was still shut.

Crying I flung myself onto my bed without bothering to get unchanged and cried myself to sleep.

_**Chapter two**_

The next day as I opened my eyes my window was open! I ran to Charlie as he sat having breakfast, " Charlie did you open my window?" I asked patiently.

" No Bells did you want me to?" he was confused by my question.

I stared at him so confused, I decided as it was a weekend that I would invite Jacob over.

He accepted immediately and promised that he would be over soon as he could.

Getting ready for Jacob involved making lunch, having a shower, and composing myself.

There was a loud knock at the door I ran to answer it and standing there was my best friend Jacob Black. He was incredibly tall at least 6'foot! With russet skin and spiky black hair, he had a huge grin on his face and his eyes were bright and happy. "Hey Bells how's it going?' he asked as he pulled me into a bear hug crushing me, "Jacob I can't…. breath!" I gasped into his chest.

Laughing he released me as we went up to my room. I sat on my bed and he sat at my computer,

" Your window smells like the blood sucker!"

" But they left, Jacob they're gone" I answered, Stunned.

"Lock your window Bella, okay I don't know what's going on! Hey do you want to go down to La Push?" his sudden change in subject

Caught me off guard but I answered him anyway " Sure Jacob hang on I'll get my coat!"

I opened my cupboard and saw not only my coat but also his jacket hanging on a hanger right next to mine. I grabbed his coat and held it close; it smelt like him and was cold like him.

Jacob came up to me and recoiled instantly " Ugh a leeches jacket! god that reeks of bloodsucker! Throw it out Bells!"

I was so confused what was Edwards jacket doing here? He was gone and he was never coming back

_It will be as if I never existed_ replayed again in my head he was gone forever.

Getting in the rabbit with Jacob as he complained about the jackets smell we drove down to La Push where we eventually spent the afternoon down at the beach, before he drove me home.

I made a simple dinner for Charlie spaghetti Bolognese we ate again in silence there was a game on I went up to my room and finished all my assignments checked my emails there was one from mum,

_Bella I haven't heard from you lately what's happening I haven't heard anything about Edward or Jacob? _

_Please reply soon _

_Renee. _

I made a quick reply for mum

_Mum everything is fine I am fine and so is Charlie I went down to La Push with Jacob he's fine I don't know what's up with Edward mum._

_Okay don't fret!_

_Bella._

I clicked send before shutting down my ancient computer and went to bed.

Waking up and getting ready for school, pulling up in the car park, I didn't see his Volvo or any of their cars.

They were at school though I walked to History I saw Emmet and Alice in one of the rooms Alice saw me and quickly turned away why were they avoiding me if they were back? Why didn't they talk to me? Deciding that I would find out no matter what I decided to find the one person who couldn't run away.

Carlisle.

I walk through the doors; I know Alice hasn't warned him her phone should still be confiscated for the prank call incident.

I walk through the halls and knock on his door. "Come in" I opened the door he was there his customary smile replaced by a mask of horror "Bella! What are you doing here you should be in school!" " But you told me you'd left" I countered " Now talk, I know you're all here why are you avoiding me?" "Bella we are all well …but just then his pager went off and he hurried from his office. " Damn you Alice!" I muttered and took a seat. He had to come back to his office some time. I waited nearly half an hour later Carlisle returned. He stopped in the doorway spotting me.

"Bella this really isn't the best time I am sorry that we have been avoiding you but you really ought to get home to Charlie"

I nodded I knew that he was getting rid of me as politely as he could; I got up and left the hospital and went home. Luckily I beat Charlie home and hurried to make dinner, having set the table and cooked dinner I hurried upstairs to do my homework. I walked in and placed my bag on the bed and walked to my open window I placed a small amount of flour on the sill. Then did my Trig homework. I checked my email one from mum,

_Bella what's wrong with you and Edward?_

_You were so close when you came over, please tell me _

_Renee _

I wrote a reply:_ mum nothing is wrong don't worry were working things out._

_Bella._

I hit send then went to sleep. Every night I would sprinkle a little flour on the window to see if he is coming but I never see any prints on the sill. Why? What did I do! Does he really hate me? Why! I collapse on the bed and cry, Charlie opens the door and offers to let me stay home, I gladly accept. All day I cry why does Edward hate me? He told that he loved me _you are my life now_ he had told me was it a lie was it all an act? Did he really love me or not? I decided to visit them at their home. Getting into my truck I drove to the Cullen's home. Pulling up everything looked deserted, I got out of my truck and walked up the long narrow drive to the door. Banging on the door loudly I called to them knowing they would hear me " Edward, Alice, I know your in there answer this door!" nobody answered the door, I tried the handle it was open so I entered glancing around for any of them, but no one was in sight, I went to the first door I saw, Emmet and Rosalie's room it was locked so were the rest.

I got down on my hands and knees and bent down to look under the door, I saw a pair of high heels and loafers,

"Alice, Jasper I know your in there come out now!" the door creaked open and I saw Alice's pixie face through the small crack.

" What do you want Bella can't you just leave us alone? Your hurting him Bella more now than ever please just leave!"

" Alice take me to Edward now!" she hesitated biting her marble lip eyes full of worry she seemed to be doing battle with herself but finally she had reached a decision. " Okay I will take you to Edward…(I am so sorry)" I heard her add in a low mutter as she closed her door and led me to the garage,

Opening the door into the garage that was black, no lights shone I easily spotted him lying with his face in his hands against the wall.

I walked to him and heard Alice shut the door, I wasn't sure that she had left or not.

I sat next to him on the hard concrete floor,

"Edward whats wrong? Why are you avoiding me?"

He didn't my eyes at first but then slowly he turned his head to look at me, his eyes were pained and sad as they silently stared at me.

" Bella I have been avoiding you because of my promise to never enter your life again. You were happy with Jacob I couldn't ruin that for you"

I gasped at him unable to believe what my angel had said. "Edward what are you on about I am not with Jacob he is simply my friend like Mike! Well not like Mike but well…I wasn't happy because I cannot exist without you Edward"

He just stared at me his eyes full of sorrow.

I wrapped my arm around him and snuggled close to him. He didn't move.

I held him and slowly he responded cradling me into his lap as I ruined his t-shirt with the tears that spilled over my eyes.

"Bella, Bella love wake up your home"

I opened my eyes blearily and stared around.

I was in my truck and he had driven me home.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms.

He carried me out of my truck and up to my room.

Before jumping out of the window.

I ran to my window and he was not at the base of my window, I ran to the closet and it was open. His jacket was gone.

I ran outside calling for him everywhere.

Turning around there he was on the roof. Staring at me, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

" Edward come down here please we need to talk I miss you"

He didn't acknowledge me at all. Instead getting down silently and gracefully from the roof he walked towards me until he was right in front of me.

I hugged myself to him enveloping my self in his scent again, gazing up at his godlike face and into his beautiful eyes,

That is normally a deep ochre with gold. No tonight they were pitch black, like coal.

He was thirsty.

I backed away from him knowing I was causing him pain.

He stood stock still like a statue staring at me.

Then he moved towards me his eyes reminded me of Jasper at my birthday when he had lost control, they were wild and beyond reason, "Edward what's wrong? You need to hunt! Your not yourself!"

He just kept coming as I kept backing away from him; I turned my head just a little bit and saw that the hospital was not far away.

CARLISLE

My only hope.

I then turned tail and ran, ran as fast as my legs would go, knowing that he was faster than me by a long shot. Glancing behind me I saw he was just standing there staring at me running from him. I picked up the pace and soon I was running flat out for the hospital for Carlisle.

Flinging open the doors and racing around the hospital screaming his name. Suddenly I felt a pair of strong cold arms wrapped around my waist, I struggled and screamed for Carlisle " shhh Bella, shhh… what do you want why are you panicking where is Edward?'

" Can I go to your office now please!' I nearly screamed at Carlisle in my panic he simply nodded at me before leading me to his office.

Once we were inside and the door shut and locked he turned to me, " what's wrong Bella?' " it's Edward he's thirsty and he's lost control Carlisle, h-he wants my blood he's hunting me right now!"

I said this in a rush and if Carlisle hadn't been a vampire I was sure he would have missed everything I said.

" Okay calm down Bella listen to me, I want you to go and crouch under the desk and stay there unless I say for you to move do you understand me?' ' Yes' was all I could stay to him as I forced my legs to move me behind the desk where I now crouched silently except for my breathing and frantic heart.

The door opened and Edward walked in.

' Where is Bella?" when Carlisle refused Edward became aggressive and violent ' TELL ME WHERE SHE IS CARLISE!' He attacked Carlisle snarling and growling as he wrestled him to the floor attacking him so viciously that I was actually afraid of him.

Carlisle kicked Edward hard in the head and I stared petrified and frozen in place by the scene in front of me reaching for his phone he dialled and spoke at vampire speed before restraining Edward on a black leather couch.

The door burst open as Emmet, Jasper, and Rosalie poured in, they grabbed Edward whilst Carlisle and Rosalie got me outside, grabbing her phone Rosalie called Alice and spoke very quickly, " Alice get here now bring blood Edward lost control we are at the hospital bye"

_SCREECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

The sound of tires protesting against concrete, Alice's yellow Porsche screeched into view, she jumped out as Emmet and Jasper brought a snarling, snapping, growling Edward into view.

Alice jumped up and forced a bag of blood down his throat, he stopped struggling and went limp in Jasper and Emmett's arms. Alice and Rosalie grabbed me and shoved me in the Porsche before driving away leaving Edward, Jasper, Emmet, and Carlisle behind.

The car was whizzing past everything, it all was a blur, my mind however was spinning uncontrollably so many questions that need answers. ' Alice why did Edward allow himself to starve that much?'

' Don't you see Bella he can't exist without you, he didn't care anymore about himself or his thirst'

'Where are you taking me?"

'Where taking you to a small house not far from here to keep you safe whilst we sort out Edward'

We arrived at a small stone cottage in a forest, it was so beautiful but my mind was still spinning way to fast to admire it.

That night Alice's phone rang _riiing _

" Hello?"

_It's Edward Alice I need to speak to Bella_

" NO Edward you almost killed her what right do you have to speak to her again to even say her name!"

_Alice I need to, yes I know I lost all rights to even look at her or think of her but I need to speak to Bella please!_

Alice groaned in frustration but eventually she nodded and handed me the phone.

' Hello Edward?'

_Bella! _

" What do you want Edward?'

_I want to tell you that I am leaving and this time you can't stop me. I have made all the arrangements it is decided. I won't tell you where I'm going in case Alice tries to stop me. By the time she has a vision of this it will be to late. _

_Goodbye Bella. _

He hung up as I stared in shock at Alice and Rosalie.

' What did he say Bella?' they both asked me.

" He said that he was leaving and that we won't be able to stop him he didn't even tell me where he was going' my voice sounded meek in my ears but Alice was not looking at me, she was having a vision.

" WHAT IS IT ALICE?' Rosalie demanded of her as she grabbed a pen and paper. Drawing at the speed of light ( or that's what it looked like!) She drew a horribly familiar room with hooded figures.

The Volturi.

' WHAT EDWARD IS GOING TO THE VOLTURI WHY?' ' I don't know' Alice said in shock.

I jumped up in shock and ran around gathering things all the while screaming at them to get up and help me. They both sprang up and rushed around soon we were in the car and speeding to the airport.

The flight wasn't long so soon we were speeding through Italy and then we reached Volterra.

It looked exactly the same except for this time it was not Saint Marcus day, it was normal, eerie, silent empty. We drove up to the castle there two of the guards stood waiting. Alice and Rosalie stood in front as Demetri and Jane Walked slowly towards us. " What do you want? I thought we told you that we do not give second chances" " We are here to see Aro, Marcus, and Caius will you take us to them?' Rosalie said loud and confident, they nodded and proceeded to lead us to the castle.

Aro and Caius awaited our arrival in the same creepy room as before, and there kneeling on the ground was Edward. I ran to him desperate to at least touch him before we most likely died, he didn't look at me as I wrapped an arm around him Aro however looked positively thrilled at having us all here.

" Now Bella what are you doing here?" Aro asked pleasantly to me as if we were old friends, (when really we were just sort of acquaintances) " Well Aro Edward lost control and tried to kill me then he came here, we are here to stop him" I added unsure of what to call him. ' Well this is nice except that you are too late Edward has already made the arrangements and we are just preparing for the burning " I nodded numb, frozen, still, we were to late. " what if I offer you something? What if we make… make a deal?' Aro considered this 'hmmm what are you offering?' ' Me as a vampire and part of the Volturi instead of Edwards life' he looked delighted and then Edward reacted " NO!' he roared as he sprang up at Aro, Demetri and Jane grabbed him and threw him back. ' Bite me' ' let me consult Caius' they started talking and consulting. ' We agree to your terms' Edward yelled a lot of colourful profanities at Aro and Caius they ignored them. They beckoned me forward whilst Jane and Demetri were restraining Edward, I lay on a dark rug on the ground as Aro whispered at my ear ' this won't hurt a bit' ' yeah right' I snorted at him I knew that this would hurt like a fire was engulfing me before he bit me on the neck.

_ARRRGH! _I screamed as Edward let out a tortured yell hearing my pain. I stayed silent for the entire transformation for Edwards benefit.

_Three days later…_

I woke up I was alone, Edward was gone,.

' Hello?' Aro and Caius appeared they were thrilled when they saw that I had survived. ' Hmmm I wonder what your power is?' Aro speculated curiously.

Caius called a name that I didn't recognize and a tall man with dark hair and golden eyes met me. 'This is Eleazar he can sense what a vampires power is, well Eleazer what is it' ' she has the ability to shield many vampires minds at a time from say Jane or Edward' Aro nodded gleeful.

I was given a note,

_Dear Bella _

_I am sorry that I cannot see you, _

_Aro had the guard forced me to leave and I will never see you again. _

_Please know that I love you and always have,_

_Edward._

I wrote a reply for Edward a last letter.

_Dear Edward _

_I always deep down knew that you loved me, _

_Please don't blame your self as I know you are going to do. _

_Alice I believe will make up a story to Charlie _

_I will see you again I don't know how and I don't know when _

_But I know that I will see you again. _

_I love you._

_Bella._

The guard sent it to him as I accepted my new life.

As a vampire. As the Volturi.


End file.
